honeymoon's over

i don't think it's any surprise that my poor blog has been neglected for the last 3 weeks while my head was in the clouds hanging out with Breve. we've shared a lot of laughs but I think it's safe to say that the honeymoon is over. I guess all couples hit a point where the blinders come off, and as each reveals more about themself to the other, the faults that were cute before become obvious incompatibilities, and the question emerges: how much compromise (sacrifice) are you willing to make?

Breve has a lot of awesome qualities that I'm looking for - he's super smart and funny, very cute (he's left many broken hearts in the world of nerds), and tall. but there are two big things that stand in the way of him becoming my "boyfriend":
(i'm totally living on the edge here because there is a very real risk that he's going to do some ninja programmer thing and find my blog, but I just can't help myself.)

1. His age.  In my last post I claimed I'd gotten over this, but there really are some things that can only come with time.  It must also be that all nerds lack social/emotional intelligence to some degree, and Breve exhibits the deficiencies in a way that makes him seem really immature - like having a 30 year old woman take him clothes shopping and refusing to wear sunscreen.
2. His need for alone time. A lot of it. But he is willing to spend that time with one thing - his computer. I simply don't understand the concept of choosing to spend time in a virtual world over spending time in reality. to be fair everyone gets in that mood where they just want to be alone, but this is a little extreme...i.e. staying up all night just to get enough alone time.

i'm starting to find it hard to take this seriously.  am I just wasting my time?  I still like him a lot but I feel my perception of the relationship evolving.  for now I'll give it a little more time before I start reading through my okcupid inbox again...

nope, not there anymore.

flowchart

okcupid emailed me today with a "flowchart to my heart", for people to see if they have a shot at dating me.  pretty interesting, but it's funny/surprising that the answer to the question "Which makes for a better relationship?" puts you on such different paths.

click the image for an enlarged view into the dating mind of chai.

born this way

I should have known. not only have I liked boys from a very young age, but I've always shown signs of being a natural cougar. case in point: in elementary school, i was a second grader in a combo 1st + 2nd grade class, and hung out with a first grader, Zack, alllll the time. I guess by little kid standards he was as close to a boyfriend as guys could get at that time, given their cooties and all.

I've finally decided to stop fighting my innate cougarness, and it's been about a month now since I started dating PNB #1 - who from now on I'll refer to as Breve since he fits the half-and-half profile. though we're still in the initial treacherous stages when anything can happen and anyone can change their mind with no obligation to the other, we've at least established that 1) we're dating and 2) we're not dating anyone else.

how did Breve go from PNB to PB?  it was a combination of me getting over the fact that he's younger to see his personality (though still not totally over it...some of his friends still have acne, wtf), his persistence (ironically he took my genuine disinterest as a sign of playing hard to get and tried even harder), and situational factors (I was getting sick of the weirdos on okcupid and the douchebags in real life). so far so good...let's see where it goes.

on another note, I have seen Stash 2 weekends in a row now - once while with Breve (at Mayes...I resurrected it from the dead since I thought Breve would fit in with the young crowd). Stash always spots me first, and in the proceeding texts he has apologized for being a dick and invited me over to his place. oh did I mention that I didn't even notice that I received his multiple texts both times until I got home with Breve? boom.

so that's the 3 week update in one post. well except for one more thing...
the 100th anniversary of Bay to Breakers happened on May 15 with as much debauchery and crazy costumes/nakedness as always, even amidst the police threats of stricter regulations and drunk tents. it's the 2nd year in a row that I've ended the day with just me and some guy I didn't know at a Mexican restaurant. but I totally upgraded this year - last year's guy was a chubby, stoned 21 year old who I made out with.  this year's was a private equity older guy (still chubby though), who I managed to dodge make-out attempts from.  yea, B2B is definitely one of those things you have to do a few times to get it right.

mine would say COUGAR