on being single

Touché, aziz ansari, touché. 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emilyhennen/being-single-these-days-sucks-according-to-aziz-ansari?s=mobile

tow truck

whenever I pass by a tow truck, I feel a slight flutter in my stomach.

four years ago, my car battery died on the third floor down of my apartment garage. the first tow truck was too big to even enter the garage. the second tow truck came closer but still didn't cut it, so we ended up having to call a pickup over and hook my car up to it. in the hour or so that we were waiting for the pickup driver, the tow truck driver and I started chatting. he was about my age, and working to put himself through a junior college. we were from completely different backgrounds, but there was just something that made the conversation click, and i found his crooked smile to be endearing. after we got my car out, I rode with him to the dealership, and before we parted ways he thanked me and said he hadn't met someone who he could have such easy conversation with in quite some time. 

since that day I've forgotten his name, his face, and even the towing company he worked for, but i can't forget that spark (I think I might have even scanned missed connections on craigslist for a few days after). now whenever I see a tow truck, I can't help but peer through the window hoping I might recognize his face. 

but what then? would we exchange numbers? would we go on a date? 

I've been thinking about this a lot, and it's brought me to two somewhat conflicting conclusions: 

Conclusion 1: I'm ready to give chemistry a shot, even if nothing else seems to fit the criteria that I (and all of us) have in my head. clicking with someone is the hardest criteria to satisfy because of its intangible nature, and I can't underestimate the importance or the difficulty of that one trait. so, if I met tow truck man today, I would go on a date with him. 

Conclusion 2: There is no one person in the world that's right for me. just like when looking for an apartment, every potential match is a combination of dials - except instead of desired location, price, and proximity to public transport, the dials read intelligence, background, physical attractiveness, and chemistry. all relationships are different because of the values on each dial, and all can be great in different ways. 

based on conclusion 1, I'm holding chemistry as the most important dial. but, I have to take into consideration the balance of all the other dials to make it sustainable. maybe there isn't "the one", but some number of individuals have to fall within this ideal range. 

i'm putting both these conclusions to the test. I've been seeing someone who is definitely in the 90s on the chemistry and physical attractiveness scale, but low on the intelligence and background scale. it's been fun the last two weeks, but I already sense it falling apart (for one thing, the "goodnight, pretty lady" texts have stopped). chemistry only opens the door; intellectual stimulation and a common upbringing are what deepens the connections. yet, it's so easy to fall for someone based just off the way they look and how your body reacts when you're near them...