jack and coke - hot or not?

I lost my go-to bar drink when I realized just how bad vodka red bull (not to mention four loko) is for you. I like tequila, but if that were anyone’s go-to drink they would end up in the hospital by the end of the night. so lately I’ve developed an attachment to jack and coke, but I’m still testing it out before I formally give it my go-to-drink spot since there’s usually some sort of reaction when I order it at the bar…

• Male friend: did you just order a jack and coke? Atta girl!
• Other male friend: did you just order a jack and coke...hm…wow. (completely could not read if this was a positive or negative reaction)
• Bartender: Got the order of jack and coke, and what did YOU want? 

...and various other mutters of surprise in response to ordering jack. so in preparation for the weekend, I need your input to make this very critical go-to drink decision…

when a girl orders a jack and coke, is it:

i may be a little bit off on my proportions

just say it

yes. or no. both are better than not knowing.  not knowing whether to make other dinner plans, not knowing whether to keep saturday free, not knowing whether to change into my pajamas. 

why is it that when the answer is no, guys choose to hit the "ignore" button on the phone?  i know that when you do that it is a conscious decision.  i just don't know why i still buy the excuses i get the next day.  it's the inequality that bothers me and ironically makes me keep thinking of you... that you know something i don't know.  you know the answer is no, yet you're perfectly content to let me hold out hope.  

and the worst part is...i'll probably still buy your excuse tomorrow because i'm not quite ready to give up yet. 

a question we often ask ourselves...

thought I would serve up a little reading for this President's Day.  over the weekend, the Wall Street Journal attempted to answer a question that we've all asked ourselves: where have all the good men gone? 

if you're one of those people who don't like reading the last page of a book first, don't read the except below, which is basically a summary of the answer to this question:

What explains this puerile shallowness? I see it as an expression of our cultural uncertainty about the social role of men. It's been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, but boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors and providers. Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.

...Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men's attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There's nothing they have to do.

so there you have it.  pretty depressing if you ask me.  the article reminds me a bit of the popular NY Times article that came out last summer, about how it's taking longer for us 20-somethings to achieve the "five milestones" that signal adulthood. it's 10 pages long so save that one for when you have some time. 

hmm...now might be a good time to grow up

delta SUCKS

Today I am drunk-blogging from a height of at least 10,000 feet up in the air… oh the wonders of plane wifi!! Why am I drunk? well, the pilot of this shitty DELTA flight apparently was “stuck in traffic” (I bet he was really just with some girl..I saw him when he walked by, he was cute. traffic is everyone’s excuse for a quickie on the job) which resulted in a TWO HOUR flight delay – and let’s just say I am sitting in first class where the alcohol is free, and I had to pass the time somehow. And how I ended up in first class, I still don’t know. Also since I’m flying back from the South, I wonder – if I grew up here, would I be into black men???

Anyways…….

I had written something about flying at an earlier time when I was sober, since I contribute my fair share of being up in the air. I can’t really write anything cohesive now, so I’m just going to copy that here. It’s probably less entertaining than my drunk blogging, but more insightful at least.

------

Hooray for wasting life in planes. Then again, airports and planes always bring so much promise… dapper young traveling business men… any of whom I could be sitting next to… Annnnnd that promise subsides when I see that my seat is snug between an old dude and a fat guy, and both have taken the liberty to use my shared arm rests. Score.

I’m flying Delta, which means that I chose my seat blindly with no preview to my seatmates. Flying Southwest is a different story. Your seat choice is based on impulse when you get on the plane…so that empty seat next to the cute guy – it’s yours. There is a reason why we LUV Southwest.

I, however, have had the unfortunate fate of flying so much that I am A-list status on Southwest. Since I’m always one of the first people on the plane, I face one of two dilemmas:

1. Cute guys haven’t boarded the plane yet, so I don’t get to choose them, they have to choose me. This scenario usually results in loss of self-esteem. 
2. Cute guys have boarded the plane, but with the abundance of aisle and window seats, my agenda becomes way too obvious if I choose the middle seat next to them. Really, how could I justify riding bitch? 

There are clearly a few solutions here – either I could get hotter (simple) or I could forfeit my A-list status (yea right! that bin space is mine, bitch) – but the easiest solution would be for ALL cute guys to sit in the middle seats.

So: If you’re cute, sit in the middle, so I don’t have to choose between you and the window seat - because the window will always win. What’s in it for you? You get to DOUBLE your chances of sitting next to hot girls…….or old dudes and fat men. ;)

view from my window, reminds me of my favorite postal service song -
Everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now", but we'll stay

-- such great heights

pick your cupid

clever op-art by Ji Lee - original link from the NY Times. my favorite is the hipster cupid (although, do hipsters usually have beards?), with filthy rich coming in close second.

which cupid do you pick?

single, yes - sad, no

I suppose I can’t claim to be a dating blog if I don’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day somehow. so here we go – Happy Valentine’s / Singles’ Awareness Day!

but - I do resent that the love holiday is deemed “S.A.D.” for us singles. our default state, e.g. the way we were born, is single, and we should be happy and content in that state. being in a relationship should deepen that happiness and enrich our lives, but being single should not make us sad. this always makes me think of my friends who are serial monogamists, whose default state is to be in some sort of relationship for the majority of their dating lives, and become lost when they are single because they only know how to function as a two-person entity – now that’s what I think is actually sad.

but back to the point of my post – happy valentine’s day -

if you have a valentine, map your favorite spot together...as for the rest of us, let’s just go beat the crap out of each other at san francisco’s annual valentine’s day pillow fight!!!

tacky, but delicious.

a study in reverse dating

a bit ago i met a guy at Parlor who was both hot and intriguing - let's call him Stash. we exchanged numbers and on friday i got a text that he wanted to hang out.  after failed attempts to meet up at bars and restaurants through the night, i got a late night invitation to "watch a movie" at his place. being the rational person i am, i weighed the pros and cons for the good part of an hour (in a mostly sober state of mind), then decided to drive to the boonies of san francisco at 3AM to take him up on the offer.  (i think the conclusion i finally came to was something along the lines of: i'm gonna go because i can...ooh and then i can blog about it. yea, totally rational i know.) 

so the "movie" was "watched", and needless to say, resolution #2 was broken. Or...was it?  i saw Stash again today and enjoyed getting to know him over lunch.  obviously there isn't much promise for a real connection when you sleep with someone the second time you see them, but since it's convenient, i'll volunteer myself for a case study in reverse dating - to see whether any sort of meaningful friendship / relationship can come out of sleeping with someone first, getting to know them later. hopefully i'm calloused enough that i'll be able to observe objectively and not get hurt by false hope.

this should be fun. 

how to avoid dating jerks

I guess it's too late to add to my list of resolutions now, but I definitely should try to stay away from my male co-workers.  I have so far been romantically linked to four, ranging from 2 years below me to 2 years above me.  that's a pretty good spread I suppose...

anyways, these boys had quite a bit in common:

Pros:

• good looking, each in their own special way 
• tall...6' +, and anyone who is 6 feet tall has potential to become a 666 one day (just need the 6 pack abs, 6 figure salary...easy)

Cons: 

• DOUCHEBAG.

yea, they all treated me like crap in their own special way, and another thing they had in common - they all asked me out for drinks.  so this is what I've learned: if a guy sees you as potential, he'll ask you to coffee, lunch, dinner, jogging, whale watching, etc.  

guys might say that asking you out for a drink just takes the edge off, but trust me, nothing good can come out of that drink... or five.

sorry to say it, but that sweet tea won't make him sweet on you

the most intelligent dating quiz i've ever taken

This just popped up on my twitter from CNN -

Need a break? Today's the Sex and Love Quiz on CNN Challenge. Play now: http://cnnchallenge.com?gid=200 (via @CNNChallenge)

That's some tough love trivia...played a round and got 2/5 questions right, haha.  Well at least I knew what the first condoms were made of!

Ulterior Motive? Always.

chat with fivespice at 4:17 PM
(fivespice is my partner in crime for all things boy related)

chaitea: dude
creepy work guy emailed me random shit again
i’m on the same floor as him…i almost feel obligated to say hi
but i don't really want to
fivespice: no don't give him hope
ct: also, i can't decide if i look cute or ugly today
my outfit is cute
but my hair is ugly
so overall…pretty neutral i guess
fs: HAHA ohhhhh wondering if you look cute before you say hi LOLLLL
ct: hahahahaha i always have an ulterior motive.. of course
fs: i thought you weren't interested!!!!
ct: NO, i'm not! i just want to show him what he's missing! ;)
fs: ....
ct: but clearly, i'm neutral on the cute scale today
so it's not going to work.

22 > 30

Received yetttt another wedding invite from a friend my age. That fact and this song make me nervous:

the naked man

I wake up this morning to find myself lying in my bed (alone), with a pair of men’s socks on my floor.

Rewind…Last night I went to a house party in the Haight.  The moment I stepped into the super-sexy loft, I knew it was a feeding ground for single yuppies.  I was immediately greeted by a man named Dan who looked just like my friend Dan, but with a better haircut.

Me: “Hey! Good to see, you… you look a little different, did you get a haircut? Wait…do I know you??”

Dan: “No…that’s why I was introducing myself.”

Fast forward through several glasses of champagne and conversations with pretentious late-20 year olds (most of whom were ironically unemployed), to me meeting a guy with a name that screams OLD MONEY!  but we’ll call him Bergamot.   Due to his attractiveness on paper (Ivy league school, PhD candidate at a top medical school), I felt obliged to be interested.  

I leave the party with Bergamot and some new friends and end up at Bigfoot Lodge (again) on Polk Street.  After having a Sasquatch which apparently is another term for “straight Whiskey”, I proceed to be walked home by Bergamot… a walk consisting of me actively stopping a fight from breaking out, Bergamot giving me the Blue Steel stare every 5 seconds  (I think he’d been practicing), then removing his shirt somewhere on Van Ness.

We arrive at my door and I make the mistake of letting him come up for a “drink of water”.  2 seconds later I walk into my room with the water and a view of the Naked Man. Damn, too bad I am not in the mood to have sex with a man who is black-out drunk tonight.  So I ask Bergamot to get dressed (not before checking him out though) and leave, mostly because I just washed my sheets today and it was such a freaking annoying task that there was no way I was going to do it again tomorrow.

Memorable lines on his way out:

“Unless you are Christian, I think you are making a really big mistake”

“Well that’s fine then if you are a virgin… I mean I was a virgin until I was 14”

But hey, I give him props for the forethought he put into the night…as he pulled out a pen and a neatly folded piece of notebook paper from his pocket to ask for my number.  Despite that, the last thing I saw from Bergamot was a middle finger before I shut the door in his face. 

vocab lesson

last night I learned about the many different ways to describe male muscle mass...toned, buff, ripped, jacked... and swoll?  If you're wondering what that looks like, go to pay a visit to the resident bigfoot at the Bigfoot Lodge.  Hot stuff.

oh you sexy beast, you

In other news, my co-worker apparently decided that I need to build up some skills if I'm going to fulfill my future as a cougar, and sent me an invite to the World's First Puma Party for Cougars in Training.  I suppose if I win the Miss Bay Area Puma award, I'll have events like this to look forward to once I'm in the big leagues. ;)