seriously guys, a word of advice. at some point you just have to MAKE THE MOVE.
case in point: david from coffee meets bagel was matched with me a week ago, and this entire week he's just been trying to engage me with 2-3 mundane texts per day. I've gotten sick of his passiveness and for some reason want to give him a chance in person, so I've purposely inserted several openers into the conversation to make it REALLY easy for me him to ask me out.
first opener
david: Mission is pretty cool, they have a ton of great dessert spots, have you been?
chai: hm, I only really know of birite and tartine. what places are you thinking of?
ideal response: Oh man there's so many others! Humphrey slocombe, dynamo donuts, mission pie, anthony's cookies! any you would like to try?
actual response: Oh man there's so many others! Humphrey slocombe, dynamo donuts, mission pie, anthony's cookies! Good thing you don't have a sweet tooth, you don't have to worry about diabetes.
um what, really? you're bringing up diabetes in a dating conversation?
second opener
chai: btw, do you actually have all those dogs in your pics?
david: Haha no, but the white one is my bro's, so I take care of him a lot. You want to meet him?
chai: lol I bet you get asked about them a lot. well played. haha, sure [on meeting them]
ideal response: cool, why don't we grab some birite and I'll bring him to dolores park this weekend?
actual response: well a guy's gotta stand out somehow, might as well do it with cute dogs haha
ok, as I'm writing this I'm wondering to myself why exactly I still want to give this guy a chance
third opener
david: so i'm guessing weekend brunches in the city aren't your thing eh?
chai: haha I didn't say that, I just don't like waiting for them. I love weekend brunch
at this point, I am full out expecting some sort of brunch invite. I just said that I LOVE WEEKEND BRUNCH
david: All the good brunches have ridiculous waits! I've only been to a few because I usually get too hangry haha
omg. seriously?! OK. how obvious can I make it that you should just ask me to meet up in person?!
chai: Ha seriously. so...do you ever meet people from CMB or do you just text them forever?
no, I'm not even being nice anymore
david: I've met a few - that's the whole point right? How about you, are you a veteran?
............alY$#jdmd;ja&6*%&%;q
i give up. those few girls that you've met must have all asked you out, because you certainly aren't capable of pulling the trigger!!
Showing posts with label online dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label online dating. Show all posts
Monday, August 26, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
order of operations
I haven't been using OkCupid much lately since the emergence of coffee meets bagel and the time-suck of tinder (which this article is spot on about, by the way), but when I'm on there, I use a method called MPAD to filter through the clutter of my inbox:
Message - read the message
Photo - assess all photos
About - skim the profile
Details - judge the facts - height, profession, education, etc.
I would say about 20% of guys only make it to M, 50% make it to MP, 25% make it to MPA, and 5% make it to MPAD. so today when I got an MPAD, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of excitement.
but when I got to D and saw 5'7" and self-described skinny, I reluctantly had to move on. gotta think about the kids.
Message - read the message
Photo - assess all photos
About - skim the profile
Details - judge the facts - height, profession, education, etc.
I would say about 20% of guys only make it to M, 50% make it to MP, 25% make it to MPA, and 5% make it to MPAD. so today when I got an MPAD, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of excitement.
but when I got to D and saw 5'7" and self-described skinny, I reluctantly had to move on. gotta think about the kids.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
hiatus over.
yes, it's been over a year since my last post, but chai is coming back with a vengeance. (and also switching over to tumblr...until that's all set up I'll be dual-posting, but update your bookmarks!)
so where was I for the last year? let's just say I was preoccupied with some personal projects that didn't go anywhere...but also dating a great guy who just didn't end up being the one. no need for a recap, but I do think he deserves a chai name for dating me the better part of a year - I'll call him VF (venti frap) after his go-to at starbucks.
moving forward. in the last 4 days, I have been on 3 dates. 1 okcupid, 2 coffee meets bagel. there are lots of things to love about the bay area: great weather, great technology, great guys. on paper they were all very impressive, engineers and doctors from great schools doing awesome things.
but in person...
date 1: first impression: cute, tall, put together - yes this could be my type. the date went well and two hours flew by...but by the end it was clear we were in the friend zone - and luckily we were both on the same page. facebook friendship accepted.
date 2: first impression: way scrawnier than his photo, possibly gay?? even though I felt zero chemistry, he was very interesting and the food was really good. unfortunately, he did not pay. nor did he pour water for me, only for himself. really, you can tell a lot from the small things. our date ended with an extremely awkward cheek-touching hug and I haven’t responded to his email about meeting up again.
date 3: first impression: oh no, he crosses his legs like a girl. if the last guy was zero chemistry, this guy was a flat line. this doctor could save lives but couldn't revive the conversation. after about an hour of boredom I blamed "work" for cutting things short. he asked if I "am in the area often?" and I said "nope. bye!"
so far, online dating has made me feel like a terrible person. these guys are great!.. for someone else. i'm not sure whether to give up or switch over to the big guns...aka match.com.
so where was I for the last year? let's just say I was preoccupied with some personal projects that didn't go anywhere...but also dating a great guy who just didn't end up being the one. no need for a recap, but I do think he deserves a chai name for dating me the better part of a year - I'll call him VF (venti frap) after his go-to at starbucks.
moving forward. in the last 4 days, I have been on 3 dates. 1 okcupid, 2 coffee meets bagel. there are lots of things to love about the bay area: great weather, great technology, great guys. on paper they were all very impressive, engineers and doctors from great schools doing awesome things.
but in person...
date 1: first impression: cute, tall, put together - yes this could be my type. the date went well and two hours flew by...but by the end it was clear we were in the friend zone - and luckily we were both on the same page. facebook friendship accepted.
date 2: first impression: way scrawnier than his photo, possibly gay?? even though I felt zero chemistry, he was very interesting and the food was really good. unfortunately, he did not pay. nor did he pour water for me, only for himself. really, you can tell a lot from the small things. our date ended with an extremely awkward cheek-touching hug and I haven’t responded to his email about meeting up again.
date 3: first impression: oh no, he crosses his legs like a girl. if the last guy was zero chemistry, this guy was a flat line. this doctor could save lives but couldn't revive the conversation. after about an hour of boredom I blamed "work" for cutting things short. he asked if I "am in the area often?" and I said "nope. bye!"
so far, online dating has made me feel like a terrible person. these guys are great!.. for someone else. i'm not sure whether to give up or switch over to the big guns...aka match.com.
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